


pull down your dreams (because you live on a totally bullshit ninja continent and should focus on that)

by Electrasev5n



Category: Naruto
Genre: OC, SI, more characters will be added as they appear - Freeform, that style of fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Electrasev5n/pseuds/Electrasev5n
Summary: Jiraiya makes a sealing discovery! By that he means he has accidentally managed to summon a very confused, unhappy human. Obviously, everyone should focus on the positives and not give this too much thought.She would very much like to unsubscribe from all of this.





	1. Great Lakes and Expectations

 

 

 

_'The drop site is compromised.'_

 

 

 

He didn't see anyone, but they were waiting for him. Jiraiya kept an easy smile and swaggered on up the road.

 

 

 

_'Did my contact sell me out, or is it a third party?'_

 

 

 

Whoever it was waited until he'd stuck a key in the post box. The kunai thudded into a metal mailbox when he dodged. A postal worker inside looked up at the sound and screamed. She dropped to her knees behind the counter as the second weapon shattered through the glass that separated the boxes and the mailing area.

 

 

 

Jiraiya winced. “Hey, hey!” He batted a shuriken off course and clapped his hands into rat. “Be careful! It's business hours.” The illusion he'd sensed melted away, revealing a minefield of traps.

 

 

 

His eyebrows shot up. “Rude.”

 

 

 

A woman wearing the band of a Kiri traitor silently dropped off the ceiling with a jagged sword. He cursed and danced away. She rushed him with a grim look, because that was just how Kiri made their shinobi. He gripped the first kunai and wrenched it out of the mailbox with a tooth-aching screech of metal. He parried her strike almost lazily and stretched his foot out to trip her. She stabbed at it.

 

 

 

Movement behind.

 

 

 

 

Jiraiya leaned to the side- and the woman's comrade speared her with another kunai. She let out an indignant shout and put a hand up, too late.

 

 

 

 

“You should get that looked at,” Jiraiya said helpfully.

 

 

 

 

He could see dirt under her blunt nails when she wrapped her hand around the handle of the weapon in her shoulder. She bared her teeth at him, because of course she did.

 

 

 

Jiraiya pre-emptively winced on her behalf because he could see where this was going.

 

 

 

The kiri woman pulled the kunai out in a spray of blood. He caught it out of his peripheral vision because two more shinobi were pincering him in. The next seconds were flashes of blood and steel- mostly their steel, because he was more interested in figuring these people out than impressing them with his repertoire.

 

 

 

Stranger two was male, with no headband at all. Number three declared current allegiance to Sunagakure, but that was probably not true. If Suna was accepting missions to attack Konoha, their ally, they wouldn't do it with village insignia on.

 

 

 

_'This is a motley group. Could be what it looks like, but it is rare for missing nin from different villages to band like this.'_

 

 

 

A lot of chakra was rising behind him. The kind of chakra that required his full attention. Jiraiya stole stranger 3's sword and kicked him into the wall in one movement. He was cutting out stranger 2's throat before he'd even registered the sound of bones breaking on impact.

 

 

 

The woman from Kiri was mid-summon, using a lot of blood. ...The blood from the wound near her heart.

 

 

 

“Shit,” Jiraiya said passionately. He tossed the garbage sword aside as he lunged toward the scroll she was using, reading it as quickly as possible. Something sentient, something from a great lake -

 

 

 

He didn't catch any more and the first thing he thought of was a mirror seal. He smeared it over the seal with the woman's own blood, covering part of her seal and corrupting the whole thing. If he was lucky, it'd create a loop, making the seal useless by calling on the user's chakra instead of the beast she wanted.

 

 

 

But there was smoke, even as the missing-nin gave a strangled scream. It ended on a high, sudden note.

 

 

 

There was a squelch.

 

 

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

She couldn't sleep.

 

 

 

Regina dully weighed the situation yet again. Her battery was at 6% now. She could read a little while longer. Or she could lean out of bed and plug it in, but then she'd have to put the phone down and lay alone with her thoughts.

 

 

 

_'I don't want to let my phone die,'_ she tried to convince herself. _'I need the alarm.'_

 

 

 

It felt bleak as hell to even think about going to work in less than 5 hours. She needed to sleep, but she couldn't because all she could think about was things that made her miserable, so she kept her mind busy with reading, which kept her further from sleeping.

 

 

 

Maybe food would help.

 

 

 

Virtuous and bummed out about it, Regina left her phone on the floor to recover. Without turning on the light, she found her slippers on the end of her rug and stuck her feet in before she ventured out onto the hardwood.

 

 

 

She didn't have to step out barefoot to know that it was punishingly cold. That was all you could expect from winter here.

 

 

 

_'I feel so weird.'_

 

 

 

Regina rubbed at her chest, trying not to wince at just... she didn't know what, exactly. But she felt off.

 

 

 

Tomorrow was going to fucking suck. She should have been asleep three hours ago, but she wasn't, and she was exhausted but going to sleep was absolutely unthinkable.

 

 

 

She made it down the stairs with minimal creaking, which was good. But the fridge seemed utterly uninspiring.

 

 

 

Light caught her eye.

 

 

 

Regina flinched away with a frown, bringing a hand up.

 

 

 

_'It's what, 3 in the morning? Who is up?'_

 

 

 

She unlocked the door and pulled it open, trying to see what was going on. Someone's headlights, it had to be. But she couldn't see a car out on the road...

 

 

 

_'It's coming from the other side of the house.'_

 

 

 

Curious, Regina leaned out as far as she could without opening the screen door, but she couldn't see.

 

 

 

“I don't even think there's enough room to fit a car between the lake and the hedge.”

 

 

 

Did... did someone put their car in the lake or something?

 

 

 

...Her boots were at the front door, on the other side of the house.

 

 

 

She glanced down at her white slippers and the pristine glitter pompoms at the tips. She hesitated for a moment- she could shuck off her shoes and just go barefoot.

 

 

 

_'Fuck it. It's too cold. I can replace these if I can't save them.'_

 

 

 

Regina opened the second door and slipped out. The night wind slammed it behind her immediately, but she was already padding out to see what was going on.

 

 

 

The light was gone.

 

 

 

God. If someone was in the lake, what was she going to do? Sprint inside to grab her phone to call 911? She shuffled as fast as she could without losing her shoes. She definitely should not go in after anyone. One more person dying in Lake Superior wasn't going to help whatever drunk bastard had careened into the water.

 

 

 

She cleared the hedge and stopped. She could feel her brow drawing down, forming lines across her forehead and between her eyebrows.

 

 

 

It was eerie quiet.

 

 

 

Her muscles were stiff. Regina had the unsettling superstition that she needed to stay as still as possible, that if she even breathed she would draw some unwanted attention.

 

 

 

Ridiculous. She breathed in.

 

 

 

and gasped, grabbing at her chest. It was on fire! What was this, some kind of pain, a heart attack? No, it was too far up, almost to her shoulder.

 

 

 

She heard herself making a weird, high noise like a wounded animal. She stumbled back and fell onto the dirt. Her hand was wet. Disbelieving, she craned her neck to stare down, trying to see in the dark. But it wasn't dark anymore. The air was heavy and it stank like iron and salt and the light she'd seen before was ringing her feet, a huge spiral that dipped in and out of the water of the lake she lived too close to.

 

 

 

“This is some shit,” Regina said, disbelieving. The light winked out to total darkness- and then it was daylight. She bumped down onto a tile floor and suddenly had full visibility.

 

 

 

Regina grabbed at her shirt and pulled it away from her skin-

 

 

 

“ _Freaky_.”

 

 

 

Her clothes were soaked with blood that had to be hers. But there was no wound in her skin. She leaned back shakily, setting her filthy palms onto the floor. And then she wondered what was under her legs. Regina leaned to the side to peer down and then would have screamed if she'd had any air. She scrambled back as fast as she could.

 

 

 

A dead woman grinned up at her, head lolling in a way that looked like she'd been dead when she fell and hadn't controlled her muscles at all.

 

 

 

Broken glass was sparkling around the floor, lit up in the sunlight and drowning in a puddle of blood. The woman was holding a big roll of paper- or her hand was on top of it, anyway.

 

 

 

A man was standing over both of them, and he was looking right at Regina. Her eyes went to his hands- he... he wasn't holding any weapon.

 

 

 

There were more bodies. Two of them.

 

 

 

Her mind was making an unpleasant connection between the three dead people and the very big man in the room. He did not look nonthreatening. He looked scary- he had weird clothes and wild hair and tattoos on his face.

 

 

 

She swallowed.

 

 

 

The man raised his hands, palms facing her, and he said something in a tone that was more bemused than anything else.

 

 

 

She felt her brow furrow. “What?”

 

 

 

He looked as confused as she felt, but he repeated himself. In Japanese. He was speaking Japanese, which, frankly, she wasn't that good at. She'd done one semester study abroad in undergrad. She was not prepared for this sudden test.

 

 

 

_'I understood that he said the verb “to know” in the past tense. And he said “she.” That's it. That is not very helpful.'_

 

 

 

She did not understand what was going on.

 

 

 

Well. She knew how to say that. Regina opened her mouth and let out the saddest little, “分りません. 英語できますか？”

 

 

 

She never did find out if he spoke English, because his expression was suddenly furious. Regina flinched back but he was spinning around, leading with his fist. It crashed into a woman's face and straight-up reversed her momentum to send her flying through the jagged remains of what had been a glass wall.

 

 

 

_'Where did that woman come from? Why was she attacking him? Which one of them killed these people?'_

 

 

 

Regina couldn't breathe. She kept trying, but it wasn't working and black was flashing around her eyes.

 

 

 

The man straightened and gave her a worried look. “すみません。大丈夫だいよう、心配しないでね。”

 

 

 

She disagreed. It seemed like a really good time to worry to her. She stared over at the woman he'd hit.

 

 

 

She was still, laying splayed on the floor where she'd fallen. By the way that blood was spreading, it was probably a good thing that Regina couldn't see the woman's face.

 

 

 

_'That lady is not going to walk it off. She is pining for the fjords. She is pushing up daisies. She is feeding trees. She dead. Dead dead dead what the absolute fuck.'_

 

 

 

Her whole body shuddered. She tore her eyes away to look at the only other breathing person in the room- holy shit, was this a post office? Was she having a hallucination about a post office?

 

 

 

The murder-punch man gave her a smile that would have been reassuring if she wasn't terrified of him. He knelt down and carefully gathered up the bloody paper in the dead woman's hands. And then he turned away from her, took two steps towards one of the bodies-

 

 

 

and reached up to pull open a mail box. He emptied it casually, stuffing an envelope into a bag at his hip. He closed the mail box. Turned the key. And put the key back in his pocket.

 

 

 

_'Is this death?'_ Regina wondered. _'Do I deserve this?'_

 

 

 

It seemed like some bullshit to her.

 

 

 

The murder-man looked up, face hardening at something in the distance. He must have heard something the way he'd heard that woman attacking him from behind, because he was suddenly urging Regina on her feet. Terrified and baffled, she let him herd her up and out and into a run past a row of quiet, dingy looking Japanese-style houses. He glanced behind them, said something that was obviously a curse, and then picked her up. Like. The way she'd pick up an empty laundry basket.

 

 

 

She did not protest, nor did she have time to. Suddenly, they were going really fast.

 

 

 

Regina watched scraggly green bushes flash away and had a sickening realization hit the bottom of her stomach.

 

 

 

_'I'm going to be really late for work.'_

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1.

 

 

 

 

She did not adjust that well.

 

 

 

There were some things she was proud of, in retrospect. Namely, her sense of self-preservation was pretty strong. After about a week of being tugged around by Jiraiya, Regina decided that he was no harm to her. But it had still been a good decision to deliberately not be interested at all in the papers that he'd killed those people in the post office for. He had strong feelings about his letters and she was _gonna respect that._

 

 

 

She had continued to respect it until he had finished burning all of the papers in the fire he'd made by breathing flames at some tree limbs he'd broken with his huge, horrifyingly strong hands. Because privacy was important. No other reason.

 

 

 

She'd also kept a fairly even head and locked down the screaming panic to deal with at a later time. It hadn't seemed like a good idea to risk annoying Jiraiya by crying all the time.

 

 

 

_'Now I'm pretty sure he's more likely to comfort me than get angry with me. Still not ready to try it.'_

 

 

 

Other than that, it was a goddamn mess. Traveling with Jiraiya was disorienting as hell. It was either a monotonous trod down dirt roads or being flung over his shoulder whenever he got spooked. He was only fun when they were in a hotel or restaurant.

 

 

 

To be fair, he probably would have been a better travel companion if they could understand each other.

 

 

 

She still didn't have a straight answer about how she'd arrived. Regina had risked his annoyance by asking him twice. She understood most of the words he was using, but putting them all in context wasn't working out that great. She was, like, 70% certain that his explanation hinged on a word she could only interpret at 'the fine arts'. The fine arts. Like. Some dickhead had been inspired to paint, and that had involved her traveling...?

 

 

 

Her mind shied away from any way to finish that sentence.

 

 

 

It was _insane_ to think that she had gone from Minnesota to Japan because of the fine arts. It was even worse that she had the creeping feeling that this couldn't possibly be Japan.

 

 

 

Evidence _for_ her being in Japan was as follows :

 

 

 

  1. People in the area speak Japanese. (convincing)  
  





 

  1. Some people are wearing traditional Japanese clothes (cool. Is it Kyoto?)  
  
  


  2. other people are wearing clothes she can only describe as cool and weird, which could easily be a rural Japanese fashion movement that she hadn't seen while she was studying in the city.  
  
  


  3. A lot of things look old-style Japanese, like houses and gardens and farm plots and statues




 

 

 

Evidence _against_ her being in Japan:

 

 

 

  1. Social norms seemed pretty different. She probably would have noticed in Kobe if people were getting into fistfights on the daily  
  
  


  2. Magic: what the fuck?  
  
  


  3. The roads weren't paved.




 

 

 

Number 3 was a very strong point, actually. Japanese infrastructure was no joke. They were seriously on top of things. The priorities were sometimes frustrating and seemed backwards to a Westerner, but you could depend on even tiny winding mountaintops with no cell signal or houses to have paved roads. And a vending machine. She hadn't seen a vending machine since the post office and that was a really bad sign.

 

 

 

“気分悪い、”she said pleasantly.

 

 

 

Jiraiya gave her a concerned look. “何で何で？” He edged ever so slightly away, as if he thought she might vomit at any time.

 

 

 

Regina considered telling him that it was a different kind of bad feeling, but who knows? Maybe she would be ill. Better to keep her options open. She gave him a pleasant smile, feeling divorced from her body. At any moment she was going to float out of her skin, ascend this mortal plane, and she could just switch off the panic.

 

 

 

It was looking a little less rural, though. Gradually, the roads were becoming dotted with signs of life. People were working in fields to the left. There were occasional spots where someone had clearly planted roadside flowers, here and there she saw homes off along intersecting foot paths.

 

 

 

“どこにいきますか？”

 

 

 

Jiraiya took a moment to answer. When he did, it was pointedly slow and probably simple. “kuni' was easy to understand, but the bit before it was a bit weird. Some kind of metal? They were going to metal country?

 

 

 

Regina stretched her memory, trying to figure out why she knew that word. It wasn't gold, or silver. So... the next common metals in conversation might be brass, iron, steel, copper...

 

 

 

Iron sounded right. Iron country.

 

 

 

… _.kind of a stupid name. That's not even a shiny metal. If I got to name a country, it'd be, like.... something pretty or noble. Iron just makes me think of dirty old swords that someone finds in a field in England.'_

 

 

 

She paused.

 

 

 

_'Or Thatcher. It also brings Thatcher to mind. Or the Iron Curtain.'_

 

 

 

Cheery in the extreme.

 

 

 

“おい、おい!” Jiraiya jostled her companionably.　”。。。ふりをするでしょう。心配ないで。。。”

 

 

Regina hoped that the words she didn't catch weren't that important and nodded. He was going to do something. Or something was going to happen. And he wanted her to not freak out about it. That was probably the gist of it. What more would she need to know?

 

 

 

He grinned at her, winked, and then became a woman.

 

 

 

 

She stopped in her tracks.

 

 

 

_'I could have used a little more information.'_

 

 

 

Jiraiya laced an arm through her elbow and steered her onward. “僕は有名人だね、” he mused. And then she didn't catch the rest. Presumably it was about the problems that he encountered because he was a famous person.

 

 

 

_'Well.'_ She pushed her fried brain past denial or shock, because this place was going to continue to be impossible and yelling at it wouldn't help. ' _I supposed that becoming a 25 year old woman would be a good way to avoid recognition. If he really is famous.'_

 

 

 

...Regina risked a good, long look at Jiraiya. He was now shorter than her, but that made sense. She was fairly tall for a girl with German grandparents, so she'd be conspicuously tall for a Japanese girl. Other than that, his hair had become long, sleek, and dark brown. His odd clothes were now demure and professional, a navy dress with a white collar and shiny black shoes. His face was still slightly broad and his lips thin. Features that had been pretty attractive on him as a man made him a relatively plain-looking woman.

 

 

 

Jiraiya caught her looking. He fluttered his lashes and gave a giggle in his usual gravelly tone.

 

 

 

Hmm.

 

 

 

_'I'd say it would be less conspicuous for me to do the talking, but I'm a 5'9” foreigner with a weak grasp of Japanese.'_

 

 

 

Actually, Regina would bet that he had a plan for each of them. Maybe he had some magic that would convince listeners he was perfectly unremarkable. He'd probably have a disguise or good cover for her as well that would account for her unusual looks and lack of language abilities.

 

 

 

He _was_ very conscious about when he wanted to make a scene or slide under a crowd's notice. She had to assume there were reasons for the really obnoxious things he sometimes did, because the equally inexplicable quiet things he did often seemed to be helpful. For one thing, he'd gotten her clothes that blended in the last village they'd crossed through. Her slippers were totally ruined, but her pajamas were in a tan canvas shoulder bag he'd scrounged up for her. That bag had come filled with cosmetics and accessories that she saw used in every town they stopped in. That was totally unnecessary. But it made her life better, and it helped the two of them draw less stares.

 

 

 

_'If nothing else, I trust that he's competent.'_

 

 

 

Jiraiya started chattering at that point. It was good listening practice, so Regina followed along and tried to participate. He talked about the landscape and things they passed, mostly.

 

 

 

She didn't catch all of it, and she definitely wouldn't remember all the new words. But she tried hard to seal away a few new ones and match words to images- apparently that was how onion looks in a field. And those yellow flowers were 'suisen'. Maybe they were daffodils. She wasn't, like, a flower expert.

 

 

 

It was definitely residential at this point. Maybe a kilometer or two ahead, about 5 houses were clustered relatively close. Before that, there was one small, lonely building near the left side of the road.

 

 

 

”それは鉄国の一番大きいな崗です、”Jiraiya chirped. His voice had gone up gradually as he talked. She wasn't sure when it had changed enough, but it sounded convincingly young and female at this point. “二百年前に、一人-” he cut off with a girlish gasp.

 

 

 

Regina startled, moving towards him instinctively. They were looking at the same thing. Someone had suddenly exited the building they were passing. That person gave them a stern look and walked over at a slow, deliberate pace.

 

 

 

She wasn't sure why Jiraiya seemed nervous. _Personally_ , she didn't like the fact that the middle-aged man coming towards them was wearing armor. He had a stick thing at his hip that was probably a sword in the holder. At least he didn't have it out. Nerves made her listening comprehension even worse as the imposing stranger flagged them down.

 

 

 

He stood in front of them. Regina found herself drifting just a little behind Jiraiya as the man began asking questions. Names, where they came from, do thing- what they came to do, she corrected in her head. Oh. Maybe this was a border? Jiraiya said their destination was Iron Country, which heavily implied that before they were in a different country.

 

 

 

_'I'm like.... 98% certain that he is lying out his ass_.' Something Jiraiya said caused the man to look at her. Regina gave a nervous smile and ducked her head a little. ' _He didn't say either of our names. He definitely didn't say 'Minnesota' or 'America' at any point.'_

 

 

 

Was lying to border patrol a reasonable thing for a famous person to do? It seemed like there had to be more to it than that. Maybe it had something to do with her- she didn't have any papers. But judging by the fact that Jiraiya was not infrequently ditching a town in the dead of the night at a sprint, he... he might be into something shady.

 

 

 

_'Other than killing people,'_ Regina acknowledged internally. _'That seems like a byproduct of whatever he's doing and not the end goal. He isn't hunting people down. They seem to leap out at him from the rafters.'_

 

 

 

Did that make him someone really important or valuable? Royalty or some political figure in risk from assassination? She stood a little straighter and wished she knew what was going on. Regina bowed along when Jiraiya did, murmured polite 'thank you's and 'excuse mes' on cue. And then they left the swordsman behind.

 

 

 

The assassination theory wasn't all bad, but it didn't feel quite right. Jiraiya seemed less like a victim running from danger and more like he was encountering danger in the course of his job. That sounded like a soldier, but they didn't do things alone for weeks at a time, wandering according to their own personal whim. Pretty sure.

 

 

 

_'Or according to orders,'_ Regina realized. _'He got those secret papers at a place where people attacked him. Is he a spy?'_

 

 

 

….Was she helping a spy get into this place? Was he up to some shady shit?

 

 

 

Jiraiya seemed to catch the look she was giving him. He tilted his pretty little head as if asking 'what?'

 

 

 

Regina sighed and looked away. She wasn't going to get a straight answer- first off, that would be a dangerous question to ask in a public space. Secondly, she probably wouldn't understand what his answer would be.

 

 

 

Also, she did not know how to say 'spy'. She could say.... a person who likes secrets. Would he infer 'spy' from that?

 

 

 

_'Ha. Probably not. Everything is bullshit, bullshit forever.'_

 

 

 

Jiraiya traveled convincingly as a rather bubbly, bouncy woman for the next few days. He left the guise on the first night when they camped in the freaky blankets he pulled from literally nowhere. The second day they stopped in the early evening because he found an inn. She thought he might take the disguise off in the privacy of their room, but apparently he wasn't risking it.

 

 

 

He even kept it on when he went with her to the onsen- but to be fair, that made sense for a lot of reasons. Prudishness would be a really stupid way to blow his cover. Also, he quite probably didn't want to leave her alone for extended periods of time.

 

 

 

He put on a pretty cute act of girlish excitement when they dropped their towels and stepped into the hotel's bath. Regina had to tamp her smile down to reasonable levels of indulgent amusement. Japanese people did really like hot springs, as a rule. And they'd been dirty on the road for long enough that she was blissfully relieved to settle into the water and let her mind wander. There were other customers, but they didn't talk much. Jiraiya was too busy soaking in the beauty of the tree-ringed pool with wide-eyes, and she was drifting close to sleep.

 

 

 

_'This is good,_ ' Regina had the presence of mind to think. _'If everyday was like this, I wouldn't even care that much about the fine arts fucking me over like this.'_

 

 

 

Jiraiya had to shake her to rouse her out of the pool. She went with sleepy compliance, mildly surprised to see that everyone else had left and the sky was dark.

 

 

 

The day after that, they made it to what must be the capital city. At some point when she wasn't looking Jiraiya dropped the disguise. Suddenly a bear of a man was walking at her left. Her heart jumped in the same instant that her feet skittered to the side.

 

 

 

He glanced down and tilted his head slightly in question. His silver hair blew in a chill wind, looking impressive and dramatic.

 

 

 

 

_'He seems even bigger now.'_ Regina purposefully turned her head away, but she was hyperaware. _'Goddamn. Jiraiya is built like an entire football team. Who needs that much muscle?'_

 

 

 

…She did not contemplate that deeply at all. Ever. Because he was _at least, like, 40_. And it didn't matter how much of a fox he was, because he murder-punched people who tried to look at his mail. That was a quality that a woman could not tolerate in anyone more important than a traveling companion.

 

 

 

“おい。”He cleared his throat. “仕事のために人と会う。一生に行こうか？”

 

 

 

Regina opened her mouth and then closed it quickly. Did she want to meet someone from his work? If he really was a spy, that seemed like an unnecessary risk. But he also seemed cautious. If it was something she shouldn't see, he wouldn't have asked her. He would have just left her somewhere. “行こう、”she agreed. “どこで会いますか？”

 

 

 

A moment later, she wondered why she bothered asking. It didn't matter where they were going to meet, because the name wouldn't mean anything to her. The answer ended in 'ya'- so... probably a bar? Or casual restaurant?

 

 

 

His work contact turned out to be a dignified older man who was unflatteringly surprised to see her walk in with Jiraiya. His smile dropped off into an open-mouthed double-take until Jiraiya rushed over to clap his shoulders and begin talking on fast-forward speeds.

 

 

 

She grudgingly followed them to the back of a seated-style bar, away from the counter. The work contact introduced himself as Ando and was gracious enough to swallow his shock to try to talk with her about the weather until Jiraiya returned from ordering beer and hauled him into discussion.

 

 

 

Regina sulked a bit before wondering if the problem was Jiraiya and not her.

 

 

 

She got more than her share of second-looks, because her facial features and height were out of the normal range even in bizarro Japan where people sometimes had purple hair or nearly circle-shaped eyes. But this specific series of covert looks between her and Jiraiya seemed less 'stealing chances to gawp at a silent, weird-looking woman,' and more 'trying to figure out how these two were traveling together'.

 

 

 

_'Maybe Jiraiya doesn't have many friends_ ,' Regina thought dryly. _'Because he murder-punches people. Just a thought.'_

 

 

 

Even in her head she knew she was harping on that point a lot, but it had made an impression.

 

 

 

As the conversation wore on, Regina switched from beer to green apple chuu-hai so that she didn't wind up dead drunk. She stared deeply into the monstrous handwritten menu and ordered a lot of things on the basis of one or two words that she could read and curiosity about what the hell a dish might be. The men were distracted, but Jiraiya still did a good job at consuming whatever she ordered until a 'salad' turned out to be an avocado cut in half with some dressing and assorted greens ringing it on a plate. He absentmindedly stole some with his chopsticks, got the oddest expression, and turned to her with wounded accusation in his big dark eyes.

 

 

 

Regina blinked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

 

 

 

He frowned, raised a finger, and then stopped. Jiraiya shook his head with a sigh and ordered a truly horrifying array of things in the genre 'mysterious bits drenched in sauce on a stick.' Some of it was offal, one was quail eggs and ew, the texture was just _so weird._ It was everything she didn't really like about boiled eggs, except also it was soggy. Delightful.

 

 

 

But the onions and pork were crazy good. She ate most of that before Jiraiya knew it was there.

 

 

 

_'I think they might be talking about movies,'_ Regina decided. ' _Maybe it's code.'_ She wouldn't have been able to read it anyway, but when Jiraiya pulled out a thick stack of papers and laid it out on the table, she leaned back in her chair and channeled as much innocent disinterest as humanly possible.

 

 

 

Ando-san noticed this and gave her what seemed to be a sympathetic grimace.

 

 

 

Ahah. Apparently she'd guessed right about what her reaction to this spy shit should be. Regina gave him a smile in return.

 

 

Ando-san nodded to her in a very dadly way, and then looked at Jiraiya reproachfully.

 

 

 

His next question to Jiraiya seemed to be about her. She sat up very straight, holding up her head in a way that made her neck look long and graceful. More importantly, it made her feel a little bit queenly and she needed that right now.

 

 

 

She.... she didn't exactly understand Jiraiya's response, but it did not involve the fine arts, her name, or her home. She had no idea if he mentioned any sneaky spy stuff, because she didn't know those words anyway. But. She was fairly certain it included the word 'model'.

 

 

 

There was no way to feel about that except confused and a little troubled.

 

 

 

The next thing that Ando-san said to Jiraiya was definitely scolding. Jiraiya tilted his head back and laughed. Patrons at the next table turned in their seats to see who was being so loud.

 

 

 

_'Is he laughing at me? About me? Or is it totally innocent?_ ' Regina crossed her legs under the table and tried to look like she was above the discussion. She had the distinct impression that she was the butt of the joke, or at least that she would want to say something on her behalf if she knew what had just happened.

 

 

 

Discomfort curled in her gut and she felt a little bit like she wanted to cry. Not knowing what was going on all the time was just too much, but there was no option for her to opt-out because a magic book or something had decided to screw over her in a specific and she couldn't understand any straight answer that she got.

 

 

 

“すみません。”Ando and Jiraiya sort of nodded acknowledgment when she excused herself.

Regina stood, brushed her dress down, and made a tactical retreat to the bathroom so that she could feel sorry for herself in privacy.

 

 

 

 

She only got to wallow for about 3 seconds. That was when someone dropped down from the ceiling and casually put a sharp thing at her neck. She went with it when a gloved hand pulled her back into their chest.

 

 

 

“I feel very compliant,” Regina said, in the most pleasant tone she could manage. She did not crane to see the person behind her, because if they wanted her to see them they would have attacked her from the front. Wait, Japanese, Japanese. She should say something in Japanese. “こんにちは。あなたのために何することが出来ますか？”

 

 

 

The grip might have loosened just the tiniest bit. Which was encouraging. She might not have said “Can I do anything for you?” correctly, but she'd definitely said it very politely. Manners matter.

 

 

 

When everyone else is a knife-wielding lunatic they matter a little bit more, even.

 

 


	2. White Elephant

“Who are you?” her captor demanded.

He used the exact same wording that this one infuriating youtube commercial advertising beer did, so it took Regina a moment to straighten out her emotions in response to that confusing input. She told him her name. The grip on her shoulder became a little painful.

“Where do you come from?”

He did not like her answer. But he let her go and pushed her shoulder so that she spun around to face him.

Regina lifted her hands slowly, palms up.

Her assailant glanced at them and blinked, as thought something about her palms was surprising. She resisted the urge to glance at them because she already knew what her hands looked like.

The man looked very frustrated. He pushed back bangs that had fallen over the scuffed headband he was wearing.

 _'That's the same thing as what the dead lady was wearing,'_ Regina realized. ' _The kanji for water.'_

His was even more beat-up, but to be fair this man looked more worn and hardened than the dead woman who had been at Regina's feet when she appeared in this godawful place. He might have been in his thirties, but not in the way where he was aging gracefully. He had a few lines above his eyebrows, tired dark eyes, and pockmarked scar tissue disappearing down into his neckline.

He seemed to decide something, tilting his head slightly.

She flinched at movement, but he was putting his sharp thing away and holding up his hands in a mirror of her posture. Even aside from being in fingerless gloves, his hands were not like hers at all-

 _'Oh,'_ Regina realized. ' _That's what he was looking at. My hands don't have any cuts or callous.'_

Well. Rough, sun-tanned hands with scars and thick tissue probably came with a military career.

_'That's slightly reassuring. He thought I was a fighty person, so he attacked me first. But I am not a fight person. So. He doesn't want to fight me. Good plan. Thank you, mr knife man.'_

Letting her go when she seemed to be harmless was a good sign for her survival. So Regina managed the least-trembly smile she could sum up.

He dropped his voice lower, in tone and pitch. He apologized.

 

She told him it was okay. Actually, on reflex she said “こちらこそ” which was way too formal and made his mouth twitch.

Regina didn't normally like people thinking her linguistic fumbles were cute, but she would like for this person not to hurt her. Plus it was objectively kind of funny to say, “No, I should be saying that to you,” after someone apologized for leaping at you with a knife.

“なんでじらいやと旅行しますか？どこに行くの？”

Um. The second question was easier... Except that she didn't really know where they were going. Regina babbled something that hopefully communicated that all she knew was they were going to Iron country. But the first part-

_'I don't know why I am traveling with Jiraiya. Lack of options? He's decided to haul me around? I definitely don't know how to explain that.'_

”一週間前ぐらい、じらいやさんと会いました、”She picked slowly. It seemed important to explain that she didn't know Jiraiya that long. A week's association wasn't worth murder-stabbing her for, right?

The stranger's eyes sharpened, but he only nodded. Clearly he was waiting for more so she stretched her brain.

_'The closest I can get to explaining that I don't know anyone.... I can say that everyone is a stranger. Then say that Jiraiya helped me.'_

'全人は知らない人なのでじらいやからてつだうもらいました。” Shit, wrong verb. “くれました、”　Regina corrected.And that wasn't exactly what she'd meant to say anyway. She had implied that Jiraiya had helped her specifically because she didn't know anyone. Probably fine. Close enough.

“そうなんですか。。。” After that, the man leaned back a little and looked her up and down, very deliberately. His gaze seemed to catch on her obviously new shoes before dragging back up to her face. She felt like he was ...checking her face for symmetry or something. There wasn't really anything else to do when staring at a person's face that long, was there?

She was getting tired of holding her hands up. But she also wanted to live, so she didn't move them.

The next thing he said was more difficult to parse. She caught 'Jiraiya', the word 'risk', and.... that was about it, really.

A bit weakly, she asked him to repeat it slowly.

He didn't say the same thing. He pointed to his headband and asked her if she had seen it before.

Regina knew that freezing wide-eyed wasn't a good response, but it was what the universe gave her. After a moment, she nodded.

The next thing he said...

_'I think he's asking if I saw Jiraiya kill the woman wearing it.'_

Um. Not technically, but she nodded. The man's eyes flicked to the side, where her hands were trembling.

He seemed sympathetic. When he repeated what he'd initially said, it made more sense. He was telling her that Jiraiya was a dangerous person.

Regina forced down hysterical laughter.

“じらいやは。。。、” he said urgently. She was pretty sure the word she didn't catch was 'murderer,' from context. No argument there. “あなたにせいじゃない。僕の仕事。。。聞く。。見えるき…出来るの？”

_'He's talking about Jiraiya. And something about me not being something. Then about his work. Listen, can see.... is it possible? Is he asking me if something is possible- if I can do something?'_

Her expression was probably blank. He didn't wait for a response to repeat himself once more, patient and slow.

She got a little more, probably from tone and body language than actual words.

 _'I think he wants me to tell him about what Jiraiya says and does,'_ Regina realized. ' _He wants me to be his spy friend. Er. To inform on Jiraiya, I mean.'_

That made a lot of sense... it seemed like getting close enough to Jiraiya to spy on him was dangerous. But Jiraiya was keeping her close for some reason. So she might see things that someone following Jiraiya would have to risk their lives to discover. But it would be easier to get her alone- he'd already done it once.

Her options stretched out in front of her. Option one: she said yes. He would let her go back to Jiraiya. Then, she could either decide to do what this man wanted, or tell Jiraiya about the encounter. Option two: she said no.

If she said no, this man was probably going to kill her.

She could only assume, anyway. He'd clearly been willing to use force.

 _'But I haven't actually seen him hurt anyone,'_ Regina deliberated. She bit her lower lip, hoping for time.

_'I know for a fact that Jiraiya kills people. He kills a lot of people. That could mean that spying on him is way too risky for me and I should tell him about this immediately. Or it could mean that being with him is too dangerous and I should make another ally so I can get away from Jiraiya. I don't know which one of them is a good guy. Maybe neither of them is, actually. But they're definitely not working for the same people.'_

There weren't really any options at this juncture. She nodded, slowly. She agreed.

The man glanced at the door. He was probably concerned about the time. When he turned back to her, it was with a small smile.

She tried not to relax too much. Her hands were still up.

He told her his name was Kou. That was probably a first name. So either he wanted to be friendly, or he didn't want her to know his last name. Then he said something that included the information that he'd see her again.

Then he was just fucking gone.

Regina spun in a circle so fast that her hair smacked her neck when she stopped. The room was empty. She pulled her hands to her chest and swallowed, hard.

_'He could still be here. I wouldn't know.'_

She did not feel comfortable to use the facilities. So she washed her hands, smoothed down her hair, adjusted her clothes, and went back out into the bar.

Jiraiya barely glanced up when she walked past him. He was still deep in conversation with Ando. Both men were red-faced from alcohol at this point. Ando gestured broadly and nearly bumped her as she passed.

 _'I don't think he knows anything,'_ Regina thought, and she **did not like** the idea. ' _If he wouldn't notice another person following him, and didn't know that person threatened me a couple rooms away, can I trust that he could keep me safe? If I told him, would I be in more trouble, because Kou will know I betrayed him and Jiraiya can't or won't keep me safe enough?'_

She had plenty of time to contemplate just how screwed she was through the night and into the next day.

After Jiraiya had stumbled to their hotel from the meeting with Ando, he had slept like the dead until past noon the next day. Regina didn't really feel comfortable straying too far from her room next door, but hunger eventually took her to the dining room downstairs. Of course he'd made them miss the complimentary breakfast, so she had to venture outside alone.

At least Jiraiya might have thought of this. It was the first time she needed to dig into the money he'd given her. There were three identical bills.

The bad thing was that it wasn't yen and she didn't understand how it worked at all. Regina agonized over it for a while- she didn't know if what she had was enough for a meal. It could be, like, 3 bucks in value, or 300. She had no way of knowing.

Well. Into the breach. She wandered around the market, lingering inappropriately close to other people to watch transactions and money changing hands. It was hard to see the small details on the money without really making a nuisance of herself, so it took some time. But after a while she thought she'd gotten it- she'd seen a man give a bill that looked like hers for a bento, and he got other bills back.

So. If she used that same bill, it was definitely big enough for a small transaction. What were the other bills? Would one of them be enough?

Ah, hell. She didn't know. She took herself into the first place she recognized as a restaurant, but god knows how many she walked past without knowing what they were. Lucky that tonkatsu places tended to have the red split curtains and the hiragana word written out front. She didn't know most food kanji. For some reason her language course had cared more about vocabulary like 'taxes', 'elephant', and 'economics' than helpful daily things.

 _'I do get a lot more mileage out of 'elephant' than I expected to, in fairness to course design. But. Does tonkatsu even have a kanji name?'_ Regina wondered. _'I don't think so. Or if it does, it's one of the old-fashioned ones that nobody uses anymore.'_

That was interesting but not the current problem. She couldn't read the menu in its entirety, but she identified a teishoku meal, chose one kind of meat over the other confidently even though she didn't know which was which, and folded her hands in her lap to wait.

The place wasn't too crowded, but it was very small in general. To her right was a large window that opened to display a little nook of a garden. The building curled around it, making the garden a sort of private sanctuary. The owner's house was connected to the restaurant, probably.

People were staring, but not so much that she had to acknowledge it. This, at least, was normal. People stared at foreigners in Japan because they were just so unused to seeing them. And she hadn't seen anyone else who looked like a Westerner so far.

 _'But I've seen so many weird-looking people that actually, this doesn't make much sense.'_ Regina found herself frowning. _'It can't be my hair or eye-color, because I've seen much less plausible coloring here. My facial shape is still weird- my face is a little long, my eyes are atypical, but not so far out of the norm I've noticed around.'_

Must be the nose. Having a high bridge wasn't a typical Japanese trait. It seemed like a weird thing that she would never notice, but her Japanese classmates had been conscious of that as a determining feature in attractiveness, along with 'head size' and how 'three-dimensional' a face was.

She really literally could not see whether or not a face check-marked those standards, but that had to be because it wasn't a beauty standard in the states. She just hadn't learned to look for it because it wasn't relevant back home.

The proprietress slid down her tray meal with a smile, “ゆっくりどうぞ”, and a nod. Regina smiled back- and then Jiraiya cheerfully threw himself down into the seat across and snagged her meal.

Regina felt her expression become decidedly unfriendly.

The waitress left real fast.

She leaned forward, made eye contact with Jiraiya, and put both hands on the rim of the tray.

He stopped with chopsticks at his mouth, already having shoved a strip of tonkatsu in with an appalling lack of grace. His brow furrowed.

“Mine,” Regina said firmly. She glared and pulled the tray back. She did it slowly, measuring his reaction to be sure Jiraiya didn't look to be angry. He seemed surprised, but not like he was going to be violent. So she settled the food back on her side of the table. “Chopsticks, please.”

_'When did he even take those? I didn't see it.'_

Jiraiya glanced guiltily at his hand and then passed over the utensils. He seemed enthralled and aghast when she took them.

_'Oh, right. Using someone else's chopsticks is considered an indirect kiss here. I guess it isn't hygienic.'_

Well. Confiscating them still made sense. She put them down on the tray quietly. Then she called back the server and asked for more chopsticks.

The waitress nodded and then glanced to Jiraiya. He said something so fast that Regina didn't understand much, other than that he was ordering food.  
  
_'I can't tell if he's just fucking with me or if he really is a ridiculously tall child.'_  
  
Either way, he was frustrating.  
  


 

________

It was good to see her taking some initiative and showing some spine, as prickly and tentative as her attempts were. Jiraiya kept his amusement mostly off his face.

Rejina gave him a suspicious look between prissy, delicate bites. She didn't seem to notice that her left hand was protectively clutching her tray.

_'She's a weird kid, that's for sure. She can't think I'd let her go hungry, after I've taken care of her for 9 days now.'_

He kept the sigh in, as he'd been doing for a week and change now.

Shit. Just, shit.

He'd be traveling much faster if he wasn't suddenly weighed down by a civilian who wasn't even in good shape by those lax standards. This girl had never done physical work in her life, and had definitely never traveled more than a dozen kilometers on foot in a day. She was clearly aching and miserable after 4 hours even at just a brisk walking pace, and he hadn't dared to give her more than a couple kilograms of personal effects to store in her bag at any point. The few times he'd had to push her to run, she'd staggered and slowed _after 10 minutes._

As best as he could tell, she had to be from serious money, because no working woman had hands _and_ feet that soft. A merchant would be accustomed to long travel, a farmer or cook or housewife or pretty much anyone, really, would have strong hands with probably a callous or two.

Rejina was the kind of ridiculous little puffball that you only found wrapped in silks somewhere writing poetry or arranging flowers, slender only because eating sufficiently was unladylike.

It was damned lucky that she had half-decent language abilities. Or maybe not, because that could have been a requirement of the seal matrix that he hadn't had time to study in detail. The Kiri woman had been trying to summon some kind of lake monster to compensate for being outclassed. Presumably, she had intended for it to be one that she could control. Intelligence and language had to be written into the seal matrix.

_'I don't have time for this. I need to know if those were really Orochimaru's people, or if they were from that group of mercenaries.'_

The trouble with having your fingers in a lot of dishes at once meant that it was hard to know who in specific was trying to kill you or warn you off at any given point in time. He was not a safe or really very interested traveling partner for a confused young foreign girl.

The trouble was that it was his fault she was here, she had absolutely no survival skills, and she would be dead or worse in two days if he just left her somewhere. And enough people had seen her with him that she'd be in additional danger by association. It wouldn't be very gallant to leave her in a hotel with enough money for a week and wish her the best.

He had inquiries that he needed to make, and she couldn't come with. But if he was right, he'd have an adequate babysitter lined up soon. Rejina could be dumped off with someone trustworthy while he got down to business. Then when he had some actual space to breathe, he could see about sending her home.

She stood out too much to be tucked away in a quiet corner, unfortunately. After spending only a day with her, Jiraiya had known for certain that she was an absolutely normal, baseline civilian. Unfortunately, a first glance said otherwise.

Her height could be explained away as a quirk of genetics. But anyone else would see her odd coloring and features as proof that she was from a shinobi line. Her hair was such a light brown it couldn't be much more than a generation away from fading to blonde, her eyes were green-brown, and altogether she just looked weird and gangly.

If a viewer was sympathetic, she could pass for exotically cute. Especially since she was perpetually slinking around shyly, watching everyone with big eyes. She looked about as misplaced and helpless as she was, which was unfortunate but did give something of a 'lost kitten' impression that could be leveraged in the right situation.

Her lack of fluency was another large problem preventing her from being anything approaching inconspicuous. As soon as she opened her mouth, it was clear she wasn't speaking her first language. Her hesitancy _screamed_ 'target'.

Her obvious softness was the final, insurmountable barrier to dyeing her hair and passing her off as some nobody. Even if he set her to working as a farmer all alone in a field or something, it was fairly apparent from her too-pale skin and prissy little hands that she wasn't used to working or even being outside. He'd landed himself some confused, misplaced little noble. No one would accept her as scenery, even on the first glance. Only one person had to see her to know she was a target. And then she'd be alone, at risk, helpless. So that plan wouldn't work even temporarily.

...At least she wasn't a sobby type. Could have been worse.

The most obvious cover story was probably the best. It wouldn't do anything good for his reputation, but it would paint her in a sympathetic light and provide a reason for someone else to watch over her.

_'It will, however, make the book I eventually write about this seem a little off.'_

He let himself smile, because it was a ridiculously romantic storyline. A young noble girl, lost in foreign lands due to the magic of an evil witch, accompanied by a handsome and noble knight. It was a very good potential basis for a story, and he _was_ looking for his next one now that he'd handed off the final manuscript for the movie adaptation of Icha Icha Acrobatics.

Speaking of which. He finished wolfing down his meal and tossed down some cash. Rejina glanced down at the bills for a second or two longer than was normal, but she followed him out.

He crossed his hands behind his head and sighed, stealing a look down at his companion. He should at least try to explain what he was doing today, and then find a spot nearby to leave her. Did she need some entertainment? He'd give her an Icha Icha, but she couldn't properly appreciate the beauty of the prose yet. What did young people like to do?

 _'She seems to want to learn the language,_ ' Jiraiya mused. _'I would too, in her situation.'_

That in mind, he breezed to the bookstore and flashed a toothy grin at a startled employee who was just finishing up unpacking the rush order from the printers. Ando was pretty efficient for an old guy.

He scoured the shelves for something age-appropriate and not too terrible to give to an impressionable youth. More than once he had to steer his young charge away from biographies and political garbage. Her tastes were clearly suspect. So he found an adventure novel for young adults and girly romance, a dictionary, and then a couple of notebooks and pens. Rejina hovered nearby with her fingers clasped together in front, awkward and out of place. But that was normal for her so he let it slide.

He checked out, then immediately flopped down on the couch in the reading area. He didn't wait for Rejina to dare to sit. Jiraiya tore open the pen packaging with his teeth and then flipped open the adventure book. He spread it out on the table and started marking furigana above the kanji. He filled out two chapters hastily, and then did a chapter in the other book as well. She'd be able to read the kanji aloud and find them in the dictionary that way.

When he glanced at Rejina, her eyes were wide with comprehension. Good, good. Remembering something, he opened a notebook and started scrawling a list of words that he'd taught her while walking. He filled out a page before losing interest. Then he tossed it to her.

Rejina barely caught the notebook, crinkling some paper. But she smoothed it out with the side of her palm and then set the book down to have a look. A slight furrow formed between her brows, and her awkwardness fled into concentration. Tentatively, she picked up one of the pens he hadn't used and began making markings next to the words he'd written.

Curious, Jiraiya leaned over. What was she- ah, those must be the definitions in her language. She didn't seem to remember all of the words, but she worked quickly on those that she recognized. She clearly had some kind of system that involved writing something in a red pen, then black.

The next thing she did was flip the page and start writing in simple, neat hiragana and kanji. What was she- oh, she was writing example sentences.

Jiraiya felt his brows raise, reluctantly impressed by the logic and initiative. Each new word was going to get a full page of example sentences, apparently. He would bet quite a lot that she would work up the nerve to ask him to check her work later to be sure each usage was acceptable.

_'Definitely well-educated. I think she can entertain herself like this for quite a while.'_

On an impulse, he reached out and ruffled her hair. Rejina ducked away and gave him a wonderfully offended look. He resisted the laugh that curled up and looked out the large windows overlooking the courtyard where he would do his book-signing. She'd be able to see him, but he wouldn't be able to see her. That was a problem, since it was a lot more important that he be able to monitor her safety until the absolute earliest chance he could dump her on someone else.

With a sigh and a stretch, he got up and loped back and forth the area to make a plan. Rejina barely glanced up until he started moving bookshelves.

She made an appalled little squeak, mouth hanging open at his daring.

Jiraiya gave her a thumbs-up and dismissed her flustered attitude in favor of rearranging the store set up to his liking. A salesperson came by to peer in and frowned at him with all their might, but didn't do anything to stop him.

Rejina made to stand when he came back after having moved the shelves, but he waved her back down onto the couch while he moved the armchairs and tables. She settled in reluctant and speechless, watching him work. On some level, he liked how obviously she was impressed by his strength when he wasn't even trying to show off. It was nothing on Tsunade, but for a mere man, he was a mightily impressive specimen if he did say so himself.

He grinned and picked up the entire couch with her on it. Rejina grabbed at the cushion and said something foreign that almost had to be rude, if he was any judge of tone.

The store manager walked by with an accusative expression and a 4 meter long banner with his face on it. She was really booking it towards the entrance, clacking past at a speed that had her little green apron flowing in the breeze of her own speed.

He would have waved if he'd had a hand free. Jiraiya settled instead for a grin and edging past her with his couch cargo. He carefully set it down at just the right angle so that Rejina could bask in the sun or scoot over into the shade, depending on how she felt as the day passed.

Hmm.

The signing wouldn't start until when he gave a speech at 6, and then he'd give autographs for 2 hours or until he got bored. There wasn't really that much time- it being 4:42 and all.

_'I'll grab her some snacks and a juice box or something, so that she doesn't feel the urge to wander off and get murdered while I'm working.'_

Or, wait. Even better. He snagged the next employee he found, gave them some petty cash and instructions, and pushed the bewildered young man out the door.

Rejina was looking over warily when he checked in on her. She ducked her head back down instantly, as though she still thought he was about to hurt her.

 

_'I can't entirely blame her for being jumpy. The first thing she saw was me in a room full of corpses. She doesn't understand who I am, who I work for, why people follow and attack me...'_

He sighed and turned his mind to what he could do now.

_'Judging by her studying habits, she'd probably appreciate some more colors and organizational things. That'll keep her busy.'_

Jiraiya put his hands on his hips, considered it, and told her to wait right there.

Her jaw tightened, but she nodded.

_'Weird kid.'_

But she was his weird kid for now, so he found colored pencils and markers and glitter pens and a set of stickers and little post-its in varying colors and shapes. At that point she was going to need a carrying case, so he poked around the kid's section and found one shaped like a banana. He giggled, zipping and unzipping it a couple of times. It was enormous and squishy and just plain fun, that's what it was. He tossed his haul down on the counter. Absentmindedly, he picked through the sweets at the front and started tossing chocolates into the pile while the cashier began sorting through it.

“Good afternoon,” He told the older woman cheerfully. “Ooo, bonbons, don't mind if I do.” He put 10 on the counter, then thought better of it and grabbed two more of the dark chocolate ones. Excellent.

Rejina was confused but pleased by the stash he handed over, and even cracked a smile at the bag full of snacks that the bookstore employee dropped off few minutes later. Jiraiya grabbed the employee by the shoulder and quietly ordered him to keep an eye on the girl. Then he headed outside to stretch his legs while his adoring public noticed the signage and gathered.

He used a combination of the chameleon genjutsu and a smokeball to make a dramatic entrance and cackled through his announcement. He took a break from beaming under applause to glance in and see that Rejina was staring at him, open-mouthed and visibly very confused. The employee was reading a magazine in a nearby chair.

All good, then.

The autograph table went well- There was a satisfying number of pretty women, adoring fans, and two of his three spies in the area. One of them passed off a note that Jiraiya tucked away for later. The other asked for a written dedication to his sister who was traveling and couldn't be there in person to meet him. He kept the concern that inspired private and waved the man on without acknowledging what that meant.

His last expected guests showed up when he had only half an hour left. He merited a full three of Mifune's samurai, which was rather flattering. Jiraiya flashed their leader a rakish grin.

The man was utterly impassive, clearly determined to wait as long as it took to politely get Jiraiya's attention. He and his fellows were perfectly still, aside from the way his grey mustache tugged in the wind.

 _'I was starting to wonder if they would make it in time,'_ Jiraiya mused while the line began to dwindle. The free posters for the movie were long gone, as were the t-shirts and other sales items. _'I thought they would notice sooner that I was doing a book-signing in the capital city today, despite never checking in at the borders.'_

They'd be huffy about the impropriety, but he'd done it knowing he would get their attention. If he'd come in under his name, he'd have had to produce a forged passport for Rejina or use genjutsu on the border agent. Both of those were much more serious offenses than sneaking in.

He waved away the last fan, stood with a stretch, and nodded to the three samurai. They unfolded from the wall they'd been lurking in front of, solemn and attentive.

They weren't wary enough, but they didn't know it yet.

 _'Hello, suckers._ ' Jiraiya gave them a grin, the kind that would have have Tsunade punch him on reflex. _'They're going to be babysitting so fast their heads spin. They can't possibly say no, no matter how low their opinion of me is. If I claim I've got a confused civilian daughter who I need them to look after, they'd be risking a diplomatic nightmare by letting anything happen to her.'_

And then he could go in peace and quiet to find out why his agents in Iwagakure had all gone silent within two weeks of each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so nostalgic to write. I'm loving it. 
> 
> I am aiming to post 2 times monthly on this story. I'm doing a lot of original writing lately, so I have to parcel it out. I'm still finding my feet and finding a writing schedule, but I think I can do it. If you're interested, I do post the drafts one chapter ahead on another site. By that I mean, for example, when ch 2 is up here, ch 3 (or at least a draft version) is already posted elsewhere. I can't link to it from AO3, but you can find it though my tumblr. 
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/electraposts
> 
> That system is working so far to keep me moving and gets me some feedback on drafts before they're Permanent here. Comments here or there are the best way to speed chapters! Tell me what you liked, what made you laugh, who you want to see more of, whatever a chapter made you feel.
> 
> I'll be posting again within two weeks, I think. :)


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